Wednesday 6th July 2011
(Report written by James Christensen)
Game Six Match Report: The Weather Gauge.
In the days of tall ships, naval commanders talked about the importance of gaining the weather gauge over their opponents; lest they be blown to pieces by an unavoidable and unanswerable broadside. “What on earth has that got to do with cricket?” I hear you say. As it turns out, a great deal. For, if there were a weather gauge to be had in cricket, it was certainly in evidence on Wednesday evening. (And, unfortunately, the weather gauge belonged to our adversaries!)
We arrived at Wirral Cricket Ground in our usual dribs and drabs; each of us greeted by the same ominous clouds and constant drizzle, and wondering whether there would even be a game, due to the crap weather. (What a cruel irony that would have been, given all the wheeling and dealing of the previous 24 hours, to ensure that we could at least field a team, with key regulars out and listed standbys unable to oblige; but that’s another ‘match report’ within itself!!!)
“No, you’re not playing us mate. This is the only pitch here and it’s OUR regular game on a Wednesday,” muttered a bloke who we’d assumed was one of the Eight4Sport lads. Bloody hell! Where is this fabled WCC2? Is it even at this location? A collective sigh of relief, as someone in the know finally directed us to follow the ‘path’ at the back of the equipment shed. The ominous clouds that had been threatening since our arrival had now opened up, and the constant drizzle was turning into something far more sinister.
The experience of getting to WCC2 was somewhat surreal to say the least; a rather pleasant two minute nature walk, past forest and stream; then the incongruous smell of open sewer; a clearing; tardis-esque portable toilets; and, finally, rugby posts and four playing fields! The one with the Astroturf looked the fair bet and we started warming up. A distinctly Parisian feel to be sure, with public latrines (where all and sundry can see you taking a whizz!), but hey, this is, after all, going to become the scene of a ship versus ship, broadside versus broadside encounter of Napoleonic proportions; so a French feel was rather appropriate.
The toss and we find ourselves fielding first. The rain is torrential, and we cannot hold onto a solitary catch for sliding, slipping and falling over. Well done to Charles for a brilliant job behind the stumps in trying conditions! First impressions of the Astroturf pitch is that it’s playing fairly true, so at least we can look forward to a bat on the same ‘friendly’ surface. Captain Steve rotates the bowling to prevent people from drowning where they stand, but it looks as though Eight4Sport might score upwards of 190. Thankfully, the brakes are put on, midway through their innings, by our regular bowlers and our worthy opponents are restricted to 155. Congratulations to debutant Graham Wild who took our only wicket, an LBW, and finished with figures of 1/ 24 off three.
How can I describe our turn at bat? Firstly, I should point out that the cricketing weather gauge had now turned to favour the fielding side. The pouring rain had ceased; the sodden outfield had drained; and the water logged, swollen hunk of ‘leather sponge’ we had been bowling with, had now been replaced by a crisp, dry, new ball (ironically ours from our kit! Although Mark M thinks we may have inadvertently nicked it from LMS in the first place?). But at least the pitch was playing true, wasn’t it? No, even that had turned against us. While the outfield had drained, the Astroturf had become difficult to play. When the ball pitched it was accompanied by an explosion of spray and it would often skid through at unpredictable heights. Four of our seven wickets to fall were either bowled or LBW, which tells something of the story.
Can you believe that there were two decisions which called for the adjudication of the square leg umpire? My favourite was Mark M’s on a run out. Our batsman was probably out by a good eight inches with his bat in the air, and there was that wonderful moment of stretched time, where you could see Mark toying with the idea of giving it not out and then realising he’d be risking a lynching from the opposition if he did. (Not a good way for a man of the cloth to die!) Charles, however, had no hesitation in giving me out, stumped, in the second square leg adjudication, even though a referral to the third umpire could well have been called for! Thanks for that one mate!
Whereas the 1930 screen adaptation of All Quiet on the Western Front had ‘Kemmerich’s boots,’ the 2011 Greasby Roaders had ‘Pickering’s bat.’ If you’re unfamiliar with this WWI saga, one of the characters, Kemmerich, has these beautiful boots, much more comfortable than the standard issue, and the envy of all his mates. When he dies, a comrade inherits his boots. Unfortunately, the boots seem to be cursed, and each new recipient is likewise the next to die; killed in action. And, thus it was with Charles Pickering’s brand new Kookaburra bat. Given the choice between one of our regular, dodgy team bats and Charles’ brand new Kookaburra, most opted for that enticing, beautiful piece of virgin willow. Unfortunately, each lost their wicket almost immediately, much like the montage in the film. Our top five managed only 17 between them, but at least the tail wagged with 36. Congratulations, once again, to new man Graham Wild, who came in at number seven, was last man standing, and top scored for the team with 22 not out. And, just in case you’re wondering, no, he didn’t use Charles’ bat! (Although, yours truly made 14 with it, so maybe there’s hope for it yet!)
All credit to the opposition, who, despite having the weather gauge and not having the use of Charles’s bat, were clearly the better team on the day. (Rumour has it that they were a bit naughty, and had a few ring-ins from further up the cricketing food chain. On that evidence, I’m expecting to see Philharmonic turn up next week with Michael Vaughan, Kevin Petersen and co!)
Well done everyone. It was a tough gig with key players out and blooding three newbies. Cricket can, indeed, be a cruel mistress, but never let it be said that our spirits are as broken as the bats in our kit!
James.
| Eight4sport vs The Greasby Roaders |
| Date: Wed 06 Jul 2011 |
| Batted First: Eight4sport |
| Eight4sport Score: 155 for 1 after 20.0 |
| The Greasby Roaders Score: 53 for 7 after 20.0 |
| Eight4sport won by 102 runs |
Match stats:-
