Season Two, Game Eleven

Season Two, Game Eleven: Back to Where it Began… - 23^rd July, 2012.

The first five matches of our debut season were played on Wirral Cricket Club’s Main Oval on a turf wicket, while all subsequent games (18 of them!) have been contested on astro tracks on one of two back fields; ‘romantically’ designated as WCC2 and WCC3.  You can imagine our surprise and delight, then, when we rolled up for tonight’s encounter and realised that we would, indeed, be playing on the number one ground again. (How many times, dear Roaders, had we checked the LMS fixtures and seen the venue tantalisingly listed as ‘Main,’ only to discover we’d been shunted back to the minor fields upon arrival.) I must admit, now that it was actually happening, it did feel somewhat akin to being promoted from the support act to the main attraction.

The Main Oval certainly looked a picture- from the velvety smoothness of the outfield’s manicured lawns to the carefully laid out rope boundary; which had been placed at a distance that would bring running ‘threes’ back into the game (rather than the ‘bash a boundary or run a single’ affair of the smaller venues). There was no question that this inviting vista was a long way from the clumpy undulations and arbitrarily dumped flags of WCC2 and 3. The only missing element, of course, was the turf pitch. You see, Wirral ‘Main’ now sports its own astro deck, several metres away from its hallowed turf square. Not the totally perfect scenario then, but the sun was shining and we couldn’t wait to enjoy our return to the place where it all began, well over a year ago…

Our opposition tonight was Double Bubble; a competitive and sportsmanlike side made up of lads from the local constabulary. We’d only ever played them once before (Game Three of the current season) losing by 15 runs in a closely fought encounter. 

The coin is tossed, Steve calls heads, (it’s tails!!!) and (surprise, surprise!) we find ourselves fielding. (Nothing new there then, but at least we didn’t CHOOSE to field!) With both our usual opening bowlers, The Big O and Clowesy, out of tonight’s line-up, our first dilemma was who should be thrown the new ball? 

Never one to shy away from a challenge, it’s Joel (Angelina) Hockley who bravely takes on new ball responsibilities, and what a brilliant job he makes of it! He generated a good deal of inswing and troubled everyone he bowled to; especially when he pitched the ball just short of a good length and attacked the top of off stump. Angelina was finally rewarded in his second over when he clean bowled one of the openers. Congratulations on your first LMS wicket mate- the first of many, I’m sure.

Other wicket takers were Corky the Cat, picking up 2/ 29, and Stephen Willett (1/ 29), with good support in the middle overs from Graham Wild and yours truly, who bowled economically at 5.5 and 6.5 runs per over respectively. 

There’s no doubt that bowling can be a pretty thankless task, and when you’re in the bowling horrors, it’s a far more humiliating place to be than when you’re struggling with the bat. Let’s face it, if you’re having a lean time batting, your timing might be off, you’ll play and miss a couple of times, and then you’ll get out.  Your batting partner will probably appreciate just how rubbish you’ve played, but the other guys, back in the hutch, will only have formed an impressionistic idea of how crap you were. In fact, some of them won’t even have been watching, for an endless variety of reasons; too caught up in a conversation, taking a comfort break or enjoying an early pint (if their part in the game is done). Still others will have been preparing the next man in by throwing a ball at him on the sidelines. Not so with bowling, where the humiliation is infinitely more public. All of your team mates are on the field with you and they’re all totally focussed on each and every delivery you bowl…. 

Spare a thought then for Renners, who bowled an over of half trackers and was mercilessly dispatched to the mid-wicket boundary for five consecutive boundaries (6, 4, 4, 4, and 4). It was a regular Ground Hog Day experience, and, as someone who’s had his fair share of poor form with the ball this year, I could completely empathise. You know you’re pitching in the wrong place, but no matter what you do, you still can’t seem to correct the problem, and the more you try, the worse it gets…. (On the bright side, Renners, at least there were no wides or no balls in the over, you achieved a Roaders Record- most number of runs off a single over, and you’ve won THAT ‘delightful’ trophy back!!!) I’d blame your new red Nike cap myself- What’s the expression? Like a red cap to a bull, or is that rag?

At the close of the first innings, the boys in blue post a total of 161/ 4. We’ve chased down 160 odd totals before (albeit not recently!!!), so the game was still there to be won, and the continuing sunny conditions meant that, for once, there was no appreciable handicap in batting second. 

So it’s Charles Pickering and Rob Rennison (still sporting his red cap- £4.00 from any good Nike retailer, I’m told) who open proceedings for the Roaders. If Double Bubble’s opening bowler were a police car, he’d have definitely been an unmarked V8 interceptor- fast, full and all over you, before you could spot him in your mirrors. He was seriously quick, but our openers were equal to the task….

A single here, an edge there but our courageous openers were determined to bat through this opening tempest. Charles, in particular, seemed to be having a torrid time, but was somehow riding his luck; hitting a number of catches that were either grassed or just fell short of the field. That look of steely determination in Charles’ eyes said it all, but where had I seen it before? Of course, Amateur Dramatics! Charles could well have been Shakespeare’s anti-hero, Macbeth, trying to repel the English army single handedly at the end of the play. “More lives than a bloody cat!” someone remarks in the hutch, but Charles’ luck finally runs out and he’s bowled! But, hang about, it’s a no-ball!!! And Charles just stands there, stumps knocked over, glaring back at the opposition players, as if to say “Who is he that was not born of woman? Such a one am I to fear, or NONE!!! I bear a charmed life which must not yield to one of woman born.” Not long after, Double Bouble (Toil and Trouble?) seem to have found their bowler, born by Caesarean Section, and our worthy Thane departs, having made a defiant 22 runs (from 19 balls).

At the other end, the man in the red cap is looking good with some well middled strokes, but puts the ‘kiss of death on himself’ when he remarks to his partner, “One more delivery, and we’ve seen the best of their bowlers off.” Unfortunately, that last delivery claims his wicket, in a tragic piece of ironic self-prophecy (worthy of Sophocles), and Renners trudges back to the hutch with 21 runs (from 17 deliveries).

There’s no doubt that our thespian openers weathered a pretty testing period, and managed to lay a fairly solid foundation for their team mates. As it turns out, Greasby Roaders would only lose one further wicket, but would fail in their chase by 36 runs. Nick Birtwistle made a courageous 34 (from 27 deliveries), before his furniture was knocked over, while Stephen Willett (top scorer again with 40* from 39 balls) and Nick Corcoran (8* from 7) were the not out batsman.

Congratulations to Double Bubble who out performed us in pretty much all departments. It was a pleasure playing a bunch of lads who approach their cricket with such good grace and sportsmanship.

In the end, not an entirely bad performance, from our point of view, but one which posed a couple of questions for the future…. Firstly, could we have gone at the total a little harder, given the fact that we had wickets in hand at the end? Secondly, could we learn from Double Bubble’s field placements and bowling tactics, which saw them bowl full length at the stumps, with a run saving mid-off and mid-on, putting the onus back on the batsman to work the ball?

A final acknowledgment- Umpires are given a bad press and are often slated by players; particularly by batsmen who’ve been given out lbw. (And let’s be honest, if a batsman really knew what the ball was doing, he’d have hit the bloody thing with his bat rather than his legs!!!) But I’d like to take this opportunity to acknowledge young David Venables, who’s umpired in the last four or so matches we’ve played, and who always does an impeccable job.

As I finish writing this report, I’m conscious of the fact that it’s the last one I’ll write until I return from a three week visit to my native Australia. Just as well, really, while I still have a few Roaders who’ll speak to me!!! Seriously folks, thanks for being such good sports and for being so generous in your support. I now hand over the con to Captain Mechano. Best of luck for the next three weeks!

POSTSCRIPT: You know Renners, that red cap actually didn’t look too bad. I might get around to buying one myself. What did you say, four quid from Nike retailers? How could you possibly go wrong?